USB Drive Razer - The Closest Possible Shave... Ever

Sometimes we have data on our hard drives that we just need to get rid of. Sure you can use something to write zeros to the drive multiple times, but that just isn't as much fun. However, the USB powered Drive Razer is, and it is chock full of features to make sure that you have the smoothest process ever.

Featuring Paramagnetic Microblades, the Drive Razer gives your drive a cleaner shave making sure that your data stays away longer and that you have the smoothest drive media possible. What better way to get rid of your data by making sure you get it at the root. The patented BitLift technology literally lifts the bits from your drive to ensure that the shave cuts away right where the data grows.

Sometimes you need something a little more portable so you might want to pick up a Drive Razer Mini while you are at it. This little guy features the same patented Microblades as the Drive Razer and it polarizes your drive as it cuts! Just in case that isn't enough, you also have the option to emit an EMP that will cover a 20 foot radius to completely ensure that the bits are gone for good. While this is a great April Fool's joke, it certainly isn't as believable as the USB Pregnancy Test. Just make sure that you lather up well, you don't want to dull the blades prematurely or accidentally cut the platters and make them bleed Cobalt from the substrate.