GoldKey USB Token: Secure and Hard to Destroy (IronKey Distant Cousin?)

For security experts and the truly paranoid (and the crossover between the two groups): the GoldKey USB token would like your attention. The "gold" plated drive (which appears to be skinned in some sort of titanium alloy) includes all kinds of security features, like heavy-duty 256-bit AES encryption that automatically protects any file put onto the drive; user tokens, a PIN, and an optional finger print scanner for a triple layer of access control; administrative management features that separate out admins from common users and allow the creation of up to sixteen groups, each with restrictable access to certain files; and no batteries that can shorten the life of the drive.

However, the makers of the GoldKey (not related to the folks that brought us the IronKey) would like you to know they went one step further, and made the drive almost completely indestructible, too: they filmed a series of videos where an actress - who seems to be representing the sellers of counterfeit flash drives on eBay - crushes the GoldKey with a car, sets it on fire, and drops it in a fishbowl to try and prove its worthlessness. Her mounting frustration as each attempt fails is funny, but we're a little confused about the Pidgin English accent: racial stereotyping doesn't add anything to the product's value, and we're not sure why the videos take that approach. Three LOL videos after the jump...